Up and out: mi sono alzato

Always essere

In the passato prossimo every reflexive verb takes essere, never avere. This holds even when the same verb without the pronoun takes avere: ho lavato la macchina (I washed the car), but mi sono lavato (I had a wash).

So the reflexive pronoun is your signal. When it points back to the subject (mi with io, ti with tu, si with lui, lei and loro, ci with noi, vi with voi), the auxiliary is essere.

Mi ho alzato is the classic slip. If you hear yourself say mi ho, swap in mi sono.

Pronoun, essere, participle

The order never changes: first the pronoun, then the form of essere, then the participle. It’s the same pronoun you use in the present, and it stays in front: mi alzo becomes mi sono alzato.

To say no, put non before the whole group: non mi sono alzato. Questions keep the same order, with a rising voice: Ti sei divertito?

The ending agrees with the subject

Because the auxiliary is essere, the participle agrees with the subject, just as it does with andare: -o for one man, -a for one woman, -i for men or a mixed group, -e for women only.

With io and tu, the ending matches the person speaking or being spoken to: a man says mi sono alzato, a woman says mi sono alzata. With formal Lei, it follows the real person: Signora, si è alzata presto? but Signore, si è alzato presto?

One man in the group is enough for -i: Anna, Sara e Luca si sono alzati.

The whole table

Each person has its own pronoun and its own form of essere. Lui, lei and loro share si; ci goes with siamo and vi with siete.

In the plural the ending is -i, or -e for a group of women only.

Your day, in the past

The daily routine verbs all work this way: svegliarsi (to wake up), alzarsi (to get up), lavarsi (to wash), vestirsi (to get dressed), prepararsi (to get ready) and, at night, addormentarsi (to fall asleep).

Irregular participles stay irregular: farsi la doccia gives mi sono fatto la doccia, mettersi gives mi sono messa la giacca. With parts of the body Italian still says the, not my: Marco si è lavato le mani (Marco washed his hands).

Feelings: what happened inside

Many feelings are reflexive: divertirsi (to have fun), annoiarsi (to get bored), arrabbiarsi (to get angry), preoccuparsi (to get worried). In the past they tell you what happened: mi sono annoiato means I got bored.

Don’t mix up the event and the state. Si è arrabbiato is he got angry. È arrabbiato, with no si, is an adjective after essere and means he is angry, right now.

Each other: ci siamo conosciuti

With noi, voi and loro, the pronoun can mean each other. English often says nothing (we met, they got married), but Italian uses the reflexive, and so essere: ci siamo conosciuti, si sono sposati.

Useful ones: conoscersi (to meet for the first time), incontrarsi (to meet up, run into each other), vedersi (to see each other), sposarsi (to get married), innamorarsi (to fall in love). A mixed couple takes -i.

Ci siamo conosciuti is the first meeting. For meeting up again later, say ci siamo visti or ci siamo incontrati.

Common mistakes

• Mi ho alzato presto.Mi sono alzato presto.Reflexive verbs always take essere in the passato prossimo.
• Sono mi alzata.Mi sono alzata.The pronoun comes first, before essere.
• Anna si è svegliato.Anna si è svegliata.The participle agrees with the subject: Anna is a woman, so -a.
• Mi non sono svegliato.Non mi sono svegliato.Non goes before the pronoun.
• Marco e Giulia si sono sposate.Marco e Giulia si sono sposati.A mixed group takes the masculine plural -i.
• Ho svegliato presto. (I woke up early.)Mi sono svegliato presto.Without mi, svegliare means waking someone else up.
• Noi si siamo divertiti.Noi ci siamo divertiti.Noi takes ci, just as in the present.

The full pattern

Pronoun, then essere, then a participle that agrees with the subject.

Always essere, never avere: mi sono alzato, not mi ho alzato.

Non goes before the pronoun: non mi sono svegliato.

A mixed group takes -i: Marco e Anna si sono sposati.